취업 꿀팁

[YBM 잉글리시 코치] 영문 자소서&영어 면접 대비 스타강사의 꼼꼼 빨간펜 첨삭 조회수 : 5667

국내 기업들 공채 시즌이 지나가고, 이제는 외국계기업을 공략할 때! 

영문 자소서도, 영어 면접 답변도 열심히 준비했는데 아무리 봐도 2% 부족한 느낌이라고? 

취준생들의 고민 타파를 위해 <캠퍼스 잡앤조이>가 직접 나섰다. 


독자들이 보내준 영문자소서, 영어 면접 답변을 들고 

YBM 스타 강사들을 찾아가 가감 없는 빨간펜 첨삭을 받은 것. 

내가 자주하는 실수는 없는지 꼼꼼히 살펴보고, 

스타강사들이 귀띔한 영문 자소서 & 영어 면접 노하우도 챙겨 가시길!





영어 면접 예상 질문 & 답변


Q Why do you want to work for this company?

A I have been especially interested in Asia the Asian economy since I was Junior a junior in University. university. Therefore, I have took not only my major, international trade, classes, but also the economy of China, economic development of Asia-Pacific, Japanese Politics and so on. I took classes not only in international trade, the field of my major, but classes such as the Economy of China, Economic Development of Asia-Pacific, Japanese Politics. Also, I studied economy in Hong Kong where the center of Asia the Asian trade and finance. This global company make 40% profits from Asia. I heard this global company makes 40% of its profits from Asia. Moreover, there are it operates two plants in China. Therefore, this company needs human resources who are able to delicately access Asia approach the Asian economy. I’m am sure I’m am the most proper best person for your company since I have studied economy and trade and learned some of the Asian languages.


ADVICE 

“대학 신입생 때부터 그 분야에 관심이 있었다”와 같은 표현은 지원자가 오래 전부터 지원 직무 혹은 직군에서 요구하는 이슈에 관심을 가지고 있었다는 인상을 주어 전문성을 부각할 수 있습니다. 두 번째 단락에서도 지원자가 조사한 기업의 현황과 정보를 어필하고 있기 때문에, 좀 더 적극적인 의지를 표명하는 데 도움을 줄 수 있습니다. 단어 선택과 시점의 선택 등을 수정해 나간다면 보다 완벽한 답변을 마련할 수 있을 거예요. 서면으로 답변을 준비할 경우 ‘I’m’과 같은 축약형보다 ‘I am ~’처럼 풀어서 문장을 쓰는 것이 좋다는 것도 참고하세요. 




Q What do you remember the most about your university life?

A When I was in university, I had bunch of joined several team projects to stimulate my cultivate in myself the cooperative spirit and young youthful passion. The most interesting team project I remember is to host for me was the one of hosting a fundraising party for a sic child. I was in charge of managing a tight budget as a the decoration team leader. But it was not really easy to prepare all party items for the successful fundraising party the necessary items within the tight budget. 


Even though our decoration team was in so much trouble because of insufficient money, I never give up thinking on looking for the best solution and tried to come up with feasible breakthroughs such as PR sponsorship and active bargaining with local stores. I visited several restaurants near my university and asked for their sponsorship. Instead of obtaining In return for some money, I put the restaurants’ names and logos in the back of party tickets for PR their advertisement. 

Additionally; I purchased some decoration materials via Chinese online shopping mall after the meticulous comparison between Chinese price and Korean price.

This experience could demonstrate my problem-solving skills as a leader. It also means that I readily adapt to new environment and agilely quickly propose proper strategies to resolve issues difficulties. Also, I could develop a sense of responsibility and communication skills through this valuable experience.


ADVICE 

적극적인 사회활동과 봉사활동으로 자신의 장점을 확실히 어필하는 모습이 큰 장점으로 부각될 듯 해요. 다만 좀 더 효과적으로 의견을 전달하기 위해서는 풍부한 어휘선택이 필요할 것 같아요. ‘I never give up thinking the best solution’ 이라는 부분은 ‘I never gave up on looking for the best solution’으로 바꾸면 더욱 좋겠네요.



영문자소서


Dear Mr. or Mrs. 


Perhaps you are looking for an intern with strong experience and motivation to pull out his/her best potential. Since I was young, I was lucky to have had a lot of chances to study abroad in my life. There Although there are pros and cons about of studying abroad, but the experience I had in the US and France has motivated me to have a wide view about of life and become an international talent. 


Korea has developed rapidly since after  the Korean War and became become one of the most powerful countries in Asia. I still believe that there are still more chances to be discovered in the Korean market. There are plenty of undiscoverd niche markets in Korea which can be acknowledged by the international market.

If I am considered for the position, I will be more than willing to engage myself eagerly in the international business market in Korea. 


As a student, I have always excelled in my studies every academic institutions because I have always thought that simply workded hard, thinking diligence is was the most powerful weapon that I can could possess. 

When I was an exchange student in France, I had opportunities an opportunity to present give a presentation on some business cases related to the course material. Most students were reluctant to find out search for new business cases and chose international companies that are were already dominant players in the business market. I, however, thought that it was a good chance to introduce some Korean companies to a lot of students from various countries. So I chose  did research on many some emerging Korean companies and international companies that already entered in the Korean market and presented them shared what I found with in front of the class.

I thought that those cases were much more interesting and it was a chance for me to advertise such companies to the international students. 

That is was when I realized that I truly aspire aspired to act as a bridge between Korea and foreign companies in the future. To be ready for my professional career, I have always paid attention on to world economic issues and critically thought about my role roles as a potential economic player. 


I had finished my military service in Korea which helped me to have diligence, discipline, and patience, and learn the importance of cooperating with others. 


Even though military service is mandatory in Korea, the my experience that I had was a little different from the others’ because I volunteered myself to go to the military service join the army right after I came back from the US. 


When I was in the military In the army, I met many different people with diverse backgrounds. Not all the people had the chance to study and some people were more interested in other aspects of life. As I had lived Living with them for 2 two years, I had learned how important it is to understand others’ ways of living life.


I believe working Working at in extreme conditions with the colleagues in of different backgrounds has helped to build better ego. If I am considered for the position, I am confident that you will be pleased with the my skills and experience portrayed in the resume. Thank you in advance for your time and consideration.



Sincerely Yours, Beom Jun Park



since + 시점, 주어 + have p.p 

   since the Korean War, Korea has developed + has become 

find out (어떤 사실을) 알아내다

   search for (정보 등을) 찾아보다


ADVICE

전반적으로 문법이 안정적이지만 전치사의 사용이 약간 불안정하고 have p.p, had p.p와 같은 완료 시제를 너무 자주 사용하고 있네요. 익숙한 문법을 반복적으로 사용하는 것보다 문장 형태를 좀 더 풍부하게 하는 훈련이 필요할 것 같아요. 군대에서 느낀 점을 썼던 부분이 개인적으로는 이 자기소개서에서 가장 흥미로운 부분이지 않을까 하는데, 좀 더 문장을 보완해서 부각시켜 보면 어떨까 합니다. 누구나 겪는 경험에서 자신이 느낀 점을 솔직하게 쓰는 것은 면접관에게 담백하고 진실한 인상을 줄 수 있기 때문입니다. 글 전체가 한 가지 포인트로 수렴되는 느낌이 없는 점도 조금 아쉬워요. 미국과 프랑스라는 ‘타지’에서 공부했던 경험과 ‘군대’ 이야기를 함께 풀어나가는 과정에서 ‘낯설고 힘든 환경에서 더 많이 배우고 성장할 수 있었던 도전기’라는 공통적인 주제가 확실하게 느껴지도록 내용을 구성해보는 것도 좋을 것 같네요.





도움주신 분 


헤일리 킴 (김하나) 


YBM어학원 종로센터 토익스피킹 전문 강사 












벤자민 (방현)


YBM어학원 종로센터 영어 청취 및 리스닝 전문 강사 







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